It’s time for a
deeper conversation.

What first prompted you to participate in an AFSP Community Walk?

I have a double dose of connectivity to mental health and suicide. My younger brother Atif died from suicide on August 31, 2007, and I have personally battled depression and thoughts of suicide several times since his death.

When my brother died, my main desire every day was to wake up to a different world: one in which Atif was still alive. Even though his death was felt by each of his friends and my family, the loss impacted each of us in different ways. My mother lost a son, and I lost a brother. A special community surrounded his life, and we became a community seeking to move forward after his death.

I learned about the Philadelphia Walk, and formed a small team in memory of my brother. There were so many people walking in the same direction towards the Art Museum, many of whom, like us, were wearing garments honoring their lost loved ones. It was the first time I felt I was around people who could truly relate to my own experience. I could sense purpose in the air, and I could feel the love. There was a lot of smiling, some crying. Each part was necessary.

How have the Walks continued to be a part of your life?

The healing process for me includes the Walk here in Philadelphia each October. Thanksgiving and Christmas can be difficult moments when our loved ones aren’t alive to celebrate with us. So the Walk can be very encouraging prior to that time of year.

Because of the Walk, the Art Museum and the trails surrounding the area have become a safe space for me to visit year-round. It’s a necessary step in a lifelong journey of healing.

How has your connection with AFSP grown?

Through my experience with the Walk, I have found a powerful connection with this organization. I am a spoken word artist and songwriter, and when I was putting together an arts event in memory of Atif, the Philadelphia Area Director and other board members supported me with resources, and eventually encouraged me to join the Philadelphia Chapter as a board member. In January 2021 that became a reality.

Over the last few years I’ve learned how to take better care of my own mental health through therapy, journaling, going for walks, and sharing my story with others. The healing process has been an uphill climb, but it’s been so worth it. Sharing my story while still healing, myself, is a way of bringing truth to the surface.

What does the phrase #MentalHealth4All mean to you?

Maya Angelou once said in a poem: “We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike.” That’s so true and beautiful.

When I envision my hope for the future, stigma around mental health will be a thing of the past. Fathers and mothers will heal properly from trauma, and teach children how to take care of their mental health at very young ages.

I plan to participate in the healing of our world by being transparent, and teaching others what I’ve learned through my times of struggle and triumph. I plan to change the world by loving my family properly and teaching my own children and other people in my community how to find hope.

How and why did you first get connected to AFSP?

I lost my son Geoff in 2000, over 20 years ago. Ten years after his death, I was introduced to AFSP by volunteering with my daughter for an Out of the Darkness Community Walk. I found out there were people trying to form a chapter in Orange County. I met up with them and began my journey with AFSP. I was part of the founding board and am now the chapter chair.

When my son died, I didn’t know about the risk factors and warning signs. I often wonder how my life could have been different if only I had known. At some point, I decided I had to turn Geoff’s death into a positive. The best I can do is to help educate the public so that other families don’t experience the pain I did when I lost my son.

What does The Overnight mean to you?

The Overnight is such a profound event. The idea of walking in the dark of night and emerging into the sunrise is truly inspiring. Like all the walks, it gives people a chance to meet other people affected by suicide, and have the opportunity to support one another.

How was this year’s event different because of the pandemic?

At first, I was hesitant about not being able to walk with other people as we normally do. But my Overnight Experience was amazing! Here it was 20 years since Geoff’s death, and this was by far the most meaningful and healing event I have participated in.

Since we were still unable to gather en masse because of COVID, I created my own special route in memory of Geoff. I got up on Saturday morning and walked to the cemetery where Geoff is buried, and spent a little time there. I then walked past the schools he attended – grammar, middle and high schools. Then I headed home by way of our favorite place to eat – the local Jack-in-the-Box – and got a chicken fajita pita in his memory. They were our fav.

The total route took me about 3 hours and 15 minutes. I got home refreshed and feeling really good. While I look forward to the time when we can all walk together again, this year I was able to think and share my thoughts just with him. It was more comforting and healing than I expected.

I have a favorite quote about grief: “You just keep living, until you are alive again.” On that day, I truly felt alive after my walk.

What does the phrase #MentalHealth4All mean to you?

I would like to see a world without suicide, in which everyone takes care of their mental health, and all people support one another and are kind to each other. Everyone should have access to the mental health support and services that they need. And everyone should know how to reach out and help those who are struggling.

What first made you interested in mental health and suicide prevention?

My interest in helping those with mental health challenges originated when I was working as a Registered Nurse in an inpatient psychiatric unit. I worked with families who struggled to understand the dynamics of their loved ones who were experiencing distress. This taught me the need for greater education and advocacy. When I moved from clinical nursing practice to academia, I had the privilege of teaching mental health nursing to future nurses. We see people in all care settings with mental health needs.

On a personal level, I had experienced a period of hopelessness and helplessness when I first moved to the U.S., after fleeing from my homeland in Sri Lanka due to the civil war. I have also seen students and close friends struggle. Learning about young people ending their own lives in our area in recent years made a deep impression in my heart. I wanted to do something to make a difference.

How did you first get involved with your local chapter?

I am intentional about incorporating mental health and resiliency into our nursing curriculum. I first reached out to my local AFSP chapter in 2017, because I wanted to bring the Talk Saves Lives program to campus. It was then that I became a volunteer, inspired by the Project 2025 goal of reducing the suicide rate by 20% by 2025. I chaired our first Out of the Darkness Campus Walk, and eventually became a board member, enabling me to focus more on bringing suicide prevention education to our community.

How have you used AFSP’s education programs on your campus?

In addition to being Director of the First-Year Seminar program, I’m also an advisor for the Mental Health Advocate Team (MHAT) on campus, which is a student-led club formed after a few students reached out to me after our first Out of the Darkness Campus Walk. I’ve incorporated both Talk Saves Lives and the It’s Real: College Students and Mental Health film on campus.

Through Talk Saves Lives, participants gain insight into why people reach a point where they want to end their lives, and learn the warning signs and how to respond. It naturally leads to conversations about protective factors and building resiliency. I appreciate the research-based curriculum. The program is easy to understand, and the common language used to deliver the content helps make it accessible for participants.

I use the It’s Real documentary in my student leader training and first-year seminar classes. Learning about real stories of students across the country who thrive in college with mental health challenges is inspiring, and emphasizes the importance of seeking help and utilizing available resources on campus.

What does the phrase #MentalHealth4All mean to you?

We are created as holistic beings, meaning we need to have a healthy balance of all the aspects of who we are: physical, spiritual, emotional, mental, and social. I think #MentalHealth4All means that if we neglect our mental health, it will affect our overall well-being, and we lose the ability to live a healthy and happy, balanced life.

Why is suicide prevention important to you?

I have known people who have attempted suicide – each of them in different periods of my life, but those experiences were unforgettable. My youngest daughter had a friend who made an attempt in middle school, and I realized that having conversations with both my daughters about suicide was important. I wanted to help them cope with what was going on, and also to make sure they felt comfortable talking to me about this subject. But it wasn’t until I first heard about AFSP, through my best friend, that I realized how many people were affected by suicide. I thought to myself, “What a great opportunity it would be to get involved with my local chapter, educate myself and my daughters, and make a difference in my community.”

What kinds of things do you think about when talking to your daughters about mental health?

When it comes to suicide prevention, education is so important. Being a single parent isn’t easy, but I believe that we as parents must educate ourselves and take care of our own mental health, as we are the lead example for our children. We also need to recognize how society and things like social media have changed from when we were growing up. This generation is dealing with so many different things than what we dealt with, but the important things – and the subjects we may be afraid to talk about – remain the same.

How have you been involved in bringing education to your community?

Mental health and suicide are topics that are not spoken about enough in the Latinx community, though suicide has always impacted us. It’s exciting to me that AFSP’s Talk Saves Lives education program is available in Spanish. The program teaches adults the warning signs, how suicide affects different people due to many different factors, and ways we can all help ourselves and others in the community. The presentation also includes suicide research, and gives people a better understanding of protective factors. Being able to deliver the program in Spanish helps me educate and bring awareness about suicide to the Latinx community and let them know about all the great resources AFSP has available. It’s a great way to make an impact.

What does the phrase #MentalHealth4All mean to you?

The questions people ask during a Spanish Talk Saves Lives program are very similar to when we do the presentation in English. At heart, people are one and the same. We just speak different languages.

Do you have a personal connection to suicide?

My connection to suicide is through my Godfather, Kenny Harvard. Our families were close friends, and I looked up to him. I called him my Uncle Kenny, and I can still hear him call me by the nickname he gave me: “Puddin.”

Kenny moved away from our area in the Midwest and settled in Texas. Every night at 10 PM, he would call to speak with my mom and me. One night, he didn’t call. When the sun rose, we learned he had taken his life. That was in 1988. I was 17 at the time. No one said anything more about how my Uncle died, even to this day. I am now 51.

How did you first get connected with AFSP?

It was through my work with Michigan PTA, which is a child advocacy association. I was seeking resources for students and families who may be in crisis. I took the Talk Saves Lives training, then More than Sad. I began sharing the resources of AFSP’s Michigan chapter with my community as a whole, including a local LGBTQ community center, and social justice and racial equity organizations. Unexpectedly, my growing participation with the chapter helped me heal a wound, allowing me to grieve my Uncle Kenny while fostering advocacy.

What kind of cultural considerations do you think come into play with mental health?

I am a Black woman, and in our community, suicide is largely taboo. It is time for that mindset to be eradicated. I am doing my best to bring about the conversation of suicide prevention in our untapped populations, especially those of color.

I am now a member of the Michigan chapter’s DEI Committee. The need for suicide prevention in the DEI space is crucial. We strive to break down the barriers that impede the open discussion of suicide in all communities, particularly our underserved communities. We are engaging and building relationships with community organizations that also center within the DEI space with their focus populations, collaborating with them to provide effective resources for the community.

What does the phrase #MentalHealth4All mean to you?

#MentalHealth4All means amplifying suicide prevention awareness so that it is on everyone’s radar. As a Black woman, I have made it my mission to share understanding about suicide prevention with my community and the various hues that make up our human race. The suicide of a loved one is forever etched within you. I do not wish for anyone to experience the pain my family and my godfather’s family endured. I do not wish for anyone to feel they have no one to talk to, regardless of their race, ethnicity, religion, lack of religion, age, gender, or identity.

In our Black and Brown communities, we must talk about suicide to prevent it.

You have attended six Advocacy Forums. What is advocacy, and what does it mean to advocate for suicide prevention?

Advocacy means asking your representatives for their support of legislation that relates to a cause you believe is important, like suicide prevention. AFSP’s annual Advocacy Forum is a great way to gain knowledge of any new or current legislation we want to push for, meet other volunteer Field Advocates across the nation just like you, and discover what has or has not worked for them in their own districts. You also get tips on how to speak with a representative regarding the purpose of your visit. AFSP’s Policy Team sets all the volunteers up for success.

What kind of legislation do you personally think is important?

As an Army veteran, knowing that AFSP supports legislation that makes suicide prevention a priority for Veterans, Service members, and their families is very important to me. The military trains you to “suck it up,” and the silent struggles are often ignored. This atmosphere doesn’t go away when you transition back into the civilian world. No one understands what you have witnessed, felt, or were subjected to. It’s hard to explain to your loved ones, and it’s even harder for them to understand how to help you when you are trapped in your own mental turmoil. Knowing that AFSP is fighting for me, for my fellow active duty Service members and our families, gives me hope that change will come, and more Veterans will see that asking for help is the exact opposite of weakness. It is actually a strength.

What does the phrase #MentalHealth4All mean to you?

I lost my beautiful mom at the young age of 50 in 2011. She had battled depression since she was in her teens. #MentalHealth4All means changing things for future generations. I have been open with my daughters since day one of losing my mom, their “nanna Di.” I have shown them compassion and empathy through my involvement with AFSP, taught them the warning signs, and let them know, “It’s okay not to be okay.”

I brought my two older daughters along with me to meetings on “The Hill” during past Advocacy Forums. My hope is that they will be even better advocates than I am. Throughout my AFSP journey, they have witnessed how impactful just one voice can be. They know their voice is powerful. If our representatives see the need, they will listen. Every voice is loud, but together we are LOUDER!

What personally inspires you and your family in the fight to #StopSuicide?

When our 15-year-old daughter, Nina, died by suicide in September 2016, my wife Dawn and I could have hidden the cause of her death and remained silent. Instead, we chose to bring our story out of the darkness to help others. We are now focused on changing our culture so mental illness is treated with the same care and respect as physical illness. We do this to help others, and to honor Nina and the wonderful 15 years she gave to everyone whose lives she touched.

How have you and your family been involved in suicide prevention advocacy?

I have served on the board of directors of the Washington State Chapter since 2018, and currently lead our chapter’s advocacy efforts. Advocacy is a simple way for us to make a difference by supporting changes to laws (and pushing for new ones) that will bring mental health and suicide prevention into our regular conversations and help save lives. I could see the power of advocacy after attending AFSP’s annual Advocacy Forum in 2019. This year, I led the first-ever State Capitol Week event in Washington state, where we held a virtual kick-off event on State Capitol Day to educate our volunteer advocates on the policies that need support in their state, and give them the opportunity to hear from and speak to local legislators. This was followed throughout the week with Zoom meetings, phone calls, and e-mails to members of the state legislature. AFSP’s National Policy Team, along with the support of other volunteer Field Advocates like myself across the country, were instrumental in passing a bill which will fund 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, and our local crisis call centers the same way as the 911 number. This critical piece of legislation was signed by the governor in May.

What does the phrase #MentalHealth4All mean to you?

I hope to see a world where mental health is treated the same as physical health, with science-based treatment options, and educational programs that give children the coping tools they need at that young age, and that they will continue to use throughout their lives. It’s important that we ensure our schools have the training and resources to support this. I also know how powerful it can be to advocate for legislation that addresses the disparity in mental healthcare access for underrepresented communities.

We are focused on honoring Nina’s legacy, and I can’t imagine a better way to do so than to bring suicide prevention out of the darkness.

Do you have a personal connection to the cause?

As a teen, I experienced depression and a cloud of darkness that felt overwhelming at times. I felt alone in that journey of finding my way towards the world’s light. Luckily, I was able to get help. As an adult, working as a social worker in a mental health setting, I lost a colleague to suicide. It made me realize that suicide can affect anyone – even a mental health provider may struggle. That’s why it’s so important to be there for other people and make it easy for those in distress to reach out for help.

Is there any particular way you feel your involvement with AFSP has made an impact?

I joined AFSP’s South Carolina chapter board in 2015 after being a walker and volunteer. I have served as chapter president for the last few years. I came to AFSP because I wanted to be part of an experience that balanced honoring those we’ve lost with supporting suicide loss survivors and those who struggle, and infusing that work with hope.

In my role as Program Director for the South Carolina Department of Mental Health’s Office of Suicide Prevention, I’ve been working on building suicide prevention programming across the state. I’ve made it my mission to help bring AFSP’s Interactive Screening Program to South Carolina. ISP is wonderful in that it provides individuals with an online platform where they can reach out anonymously, receive one-on-one connection and validation from a program counselor, and be connected to the level of resource or care they need in that moment. ISP is a screener, a lifesaver, a lifeline, an encourager, a hope builder, a connector, and an opportunity.

ISP fosters connection. To me, that’s the secret sauce.

What does the phrase #MentalHealth4All mean to you?

I believe we are all wonderfully human. We are all vulnerable to having darkness overwhelm our ability to cope on any given day. I believe we are made to need each other and support individual journeys. The phrase #MentalHealth4All is a call to action encouraging advocacy for access to appropriate and better care, but also to speak up when we are concerned about someone, or when we ourselves are in need of support. It’s about the opportunity to unify and collectively heal through connection and equity. I feel less alone knowing we have the same heart and mission.

As a survivor of suicide loss, how did you first begin to heal?

I lost my mom to suicide the day after my 19th birthday, in 1998. At that time, suicide was not an open topic. My grief, and the shame I felt around my mother’s suicide, were held close to my heart for almost two decades, until 2015. My sister and I heard about AFSP’s Overnight Walk in Dallas, and formed a walk team. After being introduced to the AFSP family through that event, I got very involved with the Central Texas Chapter. Getting to know other survivors of suicide loss, I started to not only focus on how my mom’s life ended, but more on how she lived her life. I began to understand that my mom’s suicide wasn’t the end of my life, but the beginning of me finding my purpose. I am now the Board Chair for the Central Texas Chapter.

How are you and your chapter helping more recent survivors of suicide loss?

Over the last few years, we have expanded our local Survivor Day events and implemented the Healing Conversations program. Expanding Healing Conversations in our area was critical, so that those who have lost someone can talk with one of our experienced volunteers in the weeks and months following the loss. Through these programs, we are not only helping those who have lost someone to healthily grieve, we are also providing them an avenue to start to heal.

What comes to mind when you think back to yourself as a teenager, losing your mom?

I often wonder what it would have been like if there had been Survivor Day events or the Healing Conversations program back when my mom died. I wonder if I would not have felt so alone with my grief and my shame. These thoughts are what motivate me to volunteer with AFSP. I don’t want anyone to feel alone when they grieve a loved one lost to suicide. I don’t want anyone to feel like they have to live in shame. I want people to know you can learn how to survive and also thrive.

What does the phrase #MentalHealth4All mean to you?

My mom’s death is what brought me to AFSP. I stay because it is critical that we help not only with loss, but also with healing. I view all the things AFSP does as a way for all those who have been affected by suicide to find healing. Some find healing through a walk, others find it through our education programming, while still others find it through our advocacy work. We all heal differently, and AFSP is here to help guide all of us on our journey.

How and why did you first get connected to AFSP? Do you have a personal connection to the cause?

I lost my grandfather to suicide on May 1, 2012. Not only did he die by suicide, but I’m an E.R. nurse, and he died in my emergency room. It was while I was processing my grief and trauma that I participated in an Out of the Darkness Walk in Batesville, Arkansas. After that walk, I got involved with my local chapter. Eventually, I was asked to join the chapter board.

Fast forward a few years, and my daughter began her social transition. I was thankful to have my AFSP family help me navigate being the parent of a transgender child and find the mental health resources she needed at the time. I’m also very passionate about our Veterans community: my grandfathers, husband and son all served. Being involved with AFSP has enabled me to help expand much needed mental health services for both the LGBTQ and Veterans communities.

You’re a Project 2025 Champion. Could you explain what that means?

There are a number of reasons why I wanted to be involved with Project 2025. Firstly, coming from a military family, guns are a way of life. I will always advocate for safe gun ownership. It’s so crucial that we spread suicide prevention education and awareness to the firearms owning community, teaching them about safe storage, and making that a part of being a responsible gun owner.

Secondly, I am a nurse and healthcare leader. I have watched as patients were shuffled through the system and still unable to receive the care they deserve. It is my desire for our healthcare system to do better, and Project 2025 is a wonderful in-road to help make that happen.

Being a Project 2025 Champion means being a spokesperson and primary point of contact for Project 2025 efforts in our local area. For instance, we’re working with a major healthcare system and the hope is to obtain a grant to support these efforts. Our chapter is also training law enforcement officers in suicide prevention. To reduce the rate of suicide, we depend on these kinds of partnerships in our communities. Being a Project 2025 Champion means I get to be involved in helping to make that happen.

What does the phrase #MentalHealth4All mean to you?

To me, #MentalHealth4All means that everyone has access to support, and that we normalize making the time and space to ask our friends and family how their mental health is doing. I work with physicians and when they go through the process of periodically reviewing and verifying their professional credentials, they are asked whether they’ve had treatment for mental health conditions. Our doctors need to be able to admit that they sometimes need help, too. I want to see our suicide rates drastically reduced. That means we all need to be open and know it’s okay not to be okay sometimes.

We are focused on honoring Nina’s legacy, and I can’t imagine a better way to do so than to bring suicide prevention out of the darkness.